Tranquil Tirades Wiki
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Batman Returns

Batman Returns is a 1992 comic book film--the second and last live-action Batman film of the Tim Burton era. Though both James and Damien enjoy the movie, James has gone on record as admitting it is not a very good film at all. It was reviewed by James, Michael David Sims, and Ian Wilson on Episode 293 of Earth-2.net: The Show.

Notable characters[]

Why is it a bad movie?[]

  • The main plot of the movie doesn't come into effect until an hour and thirty minutes in
  • More time is spent with the absurdly heavily make-up'ed Max Shreck than Batman/Bruce Wayne
  • Shreck is so evil, he produces a river of toxic waste from a textile mill.
  • You can fall out of a thirty-story building and survive as long as you fall through a series of awnings in succession and cats chew your fingers. (I'm getting some bad memories...)
  • Penguin is a raving sexual deviant
  • How did Organ Grinder manage to draw up accurate Batmobile bluepirints from merely observing the vehicle?
  • The Bat-Signal is reflected into the study of Wayne Manor by way of two small motorized mirrors on the rooftop, overlooking a hedge maze in the backyard far down below. That might attract some attention when guests are over walking the maze at night.
  • Max Shreck is so dense, he asks Wayne why he's dressed up as Batman after he rips the mask off and after having just ziplined down into the Penguin's lair.

Scores[]

Ian: 3/5

James: 2/5

Mike: 1/5

Tiradesverse tropes[]

  • Protagonist? - Selena Kyle, just because we have no clue what her motivation or end goal is; also, Commissioner Gordon because he's an ineffectual twit
  • Box of kittens - Max Shreck
  • Plot convenience -
    • Selina sent herself a voicemail to remind her to go back to the office (which would eventually lead to her murder) when she could have just left a Post-It note for herself ANYWHERE
    • Max stands on top of the ONE sewer grate that is a trap door that leads to Penguin's Duckmobile
    • The beauty queen falls directly onto the button without any kind of guidance rigging
    • Batman somehow knew that Penguin would be dumb enough keep the detonation device in his hand so that the swarm of bats would stay attracted until he fell backward into a skylight
  • There Are No Police - The GCPD shows up to gun down Batman on top of a skyscraper just seconds after the Ice Princess falls to her doom, despite having no evidence Batman pushed her; but they never show up in time to see any of the villains committing their heinous acts.
  • Courtney - Chip
  • Sudden Character Stupidity Syndrome -
    • Batman unmasking in front of Max Shreck
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