Bloodrayne is a 2005 action/horror film based off the video game series of the same name, and directed by Uwe Boll.

As well as being the subject of Episode 29, it is one of James' written Tirades, and, when James was still grading movies using a number scale, it was the only one that he ever gave a zero.

Plot[edit | edit source]

A half-assed trio of vampire-hunters rescue a dhampir so that, together, they can stop the most lethargic vampire in all of fiction.

Notable characters[edit | edit source]

The Episode[edit | edit source]

This is the second "Blast from the Past" episode--i.e., an episode covering a movie covered years ago as a written Tirades article. The first was The Last Airbender.

Highlights[edit | edit source]

  • "Slitting the Throats of Sheep" - Damien's least favorite Tim Buckley album
  • "Can we please have one smart character in this entire movie?"
  • Welshmanian accent
  • The Vicarious Rape Flashbacks
  • The corpse being hacked into a fine paste
  • Lola Byrne is a distant successor of Rayne
  • Rayne goes to the gas station
  • Rayne drives a Toyota Corolla or a Dodge Dynasty
  • "Do you duel?"
  • An ovary-measuring contest
  • Sebastian is the dumbest character in the entire Tiradesverse
  • "What do you say when you want to bite a girl? HISS KAAAAHHHHH"
  • There were a fuckton of Randy Orton references

Scores[edit | edit source]

James - Somnambulism

Damien - Zotz!

References[edit | edit source]

Tiradesverse Tropes[edit | edit source]

Ending Song[edit | edit source]


WWE Randy Orton Theme 2011 "Voices" CD Quality Download Link

Before and After[edit | edit source]

Previous Episode: Episode 28 - A Talking Cat!?!

Next Episode: Episode 30 - I Know Who Killed Me

External Links[edit | edit source]

The Written Review

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