Santa with Muscles is a 1996 family comedy film starring Hulk Hogan and Ed Begley, Jr.
The entire script consists of: lame pun, guy gets concussion, lame pun, lame pun, dated 90's reference, concussion, concussion, lame pun, lame pun, dated 90's reference, concussion, MAGIC CRYSTALS??? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!, concussion, lame pun, concussion, lame pun, lame pun, explosion.
That is, assuming there was a script at all. The scriptwriter sued to have his name removed from the movie because he claimed it was changed so many times.
Plot[]
Hulk Hogan hits his head, becomes Santa Claus, and tries to save an orphanage from a guy who is terrified of germs and wants to steal magic, exploding, electric crystals.
Notable characters[]
- Blake Thorne
- Ebner Frost
- Lenny the Elf
- Dr. Blight
- Leslie
- Dr. Vial
- Dr. Watt
- Dr. Flint
- Clayton
- Sheriff Hinkley
The Episode[]
- This was the holiday episode for 2014
- It is the first Hulk Hogan movie the hosts covered
- It will probably be remembered the most for ending with a fatal attack on the hosts by the Bay Transformers
- They got better
Scores[]
James - Stryper
Damien - Boulder
Highlights[]
- Multiple concussions do not cancel each other out
- Lenny was the one who found Dice's body
- Thorne is the richest person in half the physical U.S.A. from PROTEIN POWDERS?!?!?!
- James and Damien relive their CD Walkman days
- Damien's Sean-Connery-as-Hulk-Hogan impression
- Brutus Beefcake walking up to the hosts and offering them a Hot Pocket
- The first reference to Barney the Bear
- Damien's aside about Riki-Oh
References[]
- Hulk Hogan
- Suburban Comando
- Mr. Nanny
- Highlander 2
- Santa's Slay
- Ready to Rumble
- Big Boss Man
- WWF
- WCW
- Three Ninjas: High Noon At Mega Mountain
- Brock Lesnar
- Vince MacMahon
- Andre the Giant
- Thunder in Paradise
- The Undertaker
- The Rock
- Dumb and Dumber
- Dumb and Dumber To
- Snidely Whiplash
- Thunder in Paradise
- No Holds Barred
- The April Fool's Episode
- Glitter
- Game of Thrones
- The Hummer angle
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
- Lex Lugor
- Kool Aid
- Zoolander
- Clint Howard
- House of the Dead
- The Dukes of Hazzard
- The Crow: Wicked Prayer
- Kevin Nash
- Family Guy
- Captain Planet
- Doctor Tran
- Primus
- Psychostick
- Legion of Doom
- Spinal Tap
- Static Shock
- James Van Der Beek
- Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation
- Varsity Blues
- Sneak King
- Burger King
- Sim Theme Park
- Zoo Tycoon
- Giant Bomb
- Barney the Bear
- That 70's Show
- Green Day
- Metallica
- The Rundown
- Walking Tall
- Shaun William Scott
- The Marine
- John Cena
- Ted DiBase
- The Miz
- Kurt Angle
- 12 Rounds
- Randy Orton
- The Chaperone
- Triple H
- See No Evil
- Kane
- House of Wax
- Friday the 13th
- Glen Jacobs
- The Waterboy
- Adam Sandler
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
- The Flash
- Mortal Kombat 2
- Mortal Kombat 9
- WWE Ice Cream Bars
- Superman
- Nomi Malone
- Dog the Bounty Hunter
- Dead or Alive
- "His monster trucks"
- Mega Man
- The Simpsons
- Penn Jillette
- Batman and Robin
- Malcolm in the Middle
- Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky
- Zardoz
- Simon and Garfunkle
- The Legend of Chun-Li
- Green Lantern
- American Gladiator
- The Diamondcutter
- Battlefield Earth
- Dark Souls
- Fraggle Rock
- Zeus (wrestler)
- Bam Bam Bigelow
- Abdullah the Butcher
- One Man Gang
- Greg Valentine
- UFC
- CM Punk
- The Incredible Hulk
- Home Alone
- Battle-Damage He-Man
- Stretch Armstrong
- Gack
- Crossfire
- Power Rangers
- Chrono Trigger
- Street Fighter
- Minecraft
- Brutus Beefcake
- Black Christmas
- Ron Howard
- Bryce Dallace Howard
- The Village
- Fu-Man Chu
- Bruce Lee
- The Last Dragon
- M. Night Shyamalan
- Thor
- Jimmy Hart
- Tomb Raider 2
- The Wizard
- Michael David Sims
- Earth-2.Net: The Show
- The Wiz
- Randy Savage
- Shaun Michaels
- Jake Roberts
- Scott Hall
- Ric Flair
- Jimmy Snuka
- Sherman Helmsley
- Goldberg
- Billy Bob Thornton
- Alone in the Dark
- Jesse Ventura
- The Iron Sheik
- A Talking Cat
- Bloodrayne
- Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
- Twilight
- Glitter
- Evander Holyfield
- Challenge of the Gobots
- Michael Bay
- Baby Huey's Great Easter Adventure
- David DeCoteau
- Maureen McCormick
- The Brady Bunch
- Harvey Kormin
- Laverne and Shirley
- SNL
- Escape from New York
- The Carol Burnett Show
- Yor: Hunter from the Future
- The Legend of the Titanic
- Twilight: New Moon
- Howard the Duck
- David Lynch
- Eraserhead
- Mariah Carey
- Joan Crawford
- Padma Lakshmi
- Top Chef
- Showgirls
- Extra Lives
- Mortal Kombat X
- Sega Dreamcast
- The Room
- Michael Jordan
- Space Jam
- The Looney Toons
- Da Brat
- The Avengers (Uma Thurman version)
Tiradesverse tropes[]
- Protagonists? - Blake and Lenny
- Ben Kingsley Paycheck - Garrett Morris
- Eric Roberts Paycheck - Clint Howard
- Curious Quartet - Blight, Vial, Flint and Watt
- Finer Cronies and Goons, Inc. - see above
- Individual villain introduction - Frost introducing the above quartet
- Nontendre
- "Never stop and smell the roses!"
- "You think you're funny, don't you!"
- Sudden Character Stupidity Syndrome - All four evil doctors back up to laugh at a guy who just stopped their speeding vehicle with nothing but his bodily strength
- No one will like your character - Elizabeth is a cute little flower child who sings
- There Are No Police -
- Sheriff Clint Howard calls in every available unit because a guy on a dirt bike drove across the hood of his car and he assumed it was terrorists
- Dr. Frost is apparently a well known criminal mastermind with a well known residence, but no one has apprehended him yet
- Concussions are Funny!
- H.U.R.T.
- Needlessly cryptic - Clayton not telling Blake about his past for no real reason, even though doing this puts literally everyone in the orphanage in mortal danger
Ending song[]
Before and After[]
Previous episode: Episode 38 - Glitter
Next episode: Special Episode 3 - The Best of 2014