Silent Hill: Revelation 3D (or SHR3D) is a 2012 horror/action video game film very very very very very very very very very very very very very loosely based on the video game series of the same name. It was the subject of Damien's first and only solo Written Tirades, and currently is the latest Written Tirades review written by either host.

It is supposedly BOTH a sequel to the original Silent Hill movie and an adaptation of Silent Hill 3, making it one of the most the most nonsensical and unfocused movies ever created.

Literally every scene is a plot hole.

Plot[edit | edit source]

An unbelieveably confused girl runs from place to place whilst a revolving door of characters try to explain to her how the first movie never happened, all while a magical McGuffin solves all of her problems for her.

Notable characters[edit | edit source]

The Written Review[edit | edit source]

It took Damien literally over 6000 words to accurately express how horrible the movie was in written form; any attempt to do so in this article would just result in a lot of copying and pasting bullet points for miles.

Just know that it's a film that fails at literally every single thing it attempts to do.

The Episode[edit | edit source]

  • Like with Chun-Li, this movie broke Damien.
  • It's also the second longest episode of the show that covers media to date, beating out Age of Extinction. It was beaten, juuuuuuust barely, by Eclipse.

Scores[edit | edit source]

Damien refused to give the movie a Final Word in either the written review, or the episode, fearing that it would taint the mere idea of any and all written or spoken language and undo the time-space continuum.

James - Alzheimers

Highlights[edit | edit source]

  • Damien going full Silent Hill fanboy the entire episode
  • James tries to workshop the ridiculous police investigation at the shopping mall
  • The discussion of spray-paint blood
  • The lengthy rant regarding giving side characters traits that portray a modicum of depth
  • Detective Pyramid Head
  • Damien's rant about originality and adaptations
  • The discussion of how stupid the possibility of the cult in this movie being the cult from the first is

References[edit | edit source]

Tiradesverse tropes[edit | edit source]

  • Protagonist? - Heather, Vincent, and Harry
  • Ben Kingsley Paycheck - Malcolm McDowell and Carrie-Anne Moss
  • Courtney - Suki, the random girl that literally only shows up to get killed
  • Exposition Fairy - Harry, Douglas, Vincent, Dahlia, Leonard...okay, literally every single character that talks to Heather
  • High School High - "All Hallows High", which wins the award for most absurd school name ever
  • Nonsensical Title - Unless the revelation is that no one involved in writing watched the first movie
  • Plot convenience - Literally everything that happens, but specifically anything involving the Seal of Metatron
  • There Are No Police - Heather is part of a fourteen second murder investigation by cops that know where she is, yet specifically don't bother to hunt her down
  • This Fucking Scene - The incestuous kiss between Heather and Vincent and the intense hug battle between Heather and Alessa moments later 
  • Five-Second Microcosm - The camera randomly focuses on a dumpster that says in big, bold letters: "GARBAGE".
  • Seinfeld Plot Hole - The entire fucking movie
  • Flubbed line - Dark Alessa on the carousel
  • Instant Love - Vincent falls in love with Heather after having one class with her in their high school, despite the fact that he should have a completely warped sense of love because he was raised BY A CULT.

Ending song[edit | edit source]


Glenn Frey - You Belong To The City - HD

Before and After[edit | edit source]

Previous Episode: Episode 49 - The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Next Episode: Episode 51 - Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

External Links[edit | edit source]

The Written Review

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.