Jupiter Ascending is a 2015 sci-fi action film directed by the Wachowski siblings, starring Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum.
It is essentially the Battlefield Earth of 2015, and is notable for stealing from over a dozen other fictional media while trying to masquerade as being original.
Plot[]
One hour of Mila Kunis falling out of, and off of, various buildings and other structures, and another hour of people explaining shit to her and saving her from her bastard children.
Notable characters[]
The Episode[]
- This is the first episode of 2016
- Note: This episode aired before Lilly Wachowski came out as a trans woman. As such, James refers to her by her former name frequently. Obviously, this was not intentional on his part.
- The episode was released following the passing of the musician David Bowie, and the hosts paid tribute to him by having Star Man play after the traditional Ending Song
Scores[]
James - Acrophobia
Damien - Sean
Highlights[]
- Damien starting roughly 75% of his sentences with "There's something called [x]"
- Balem killed the lizard guy for not preparing his Cheerios properly
- Damien's talk about Star Wars
- The frequent use of "Hey! ... They made The Matrix." in regards to how this movie was made
References[]
- Sailor Moon
- Battlefield Earth
- The Misfits
- Donkey Kong Country 2
- The Talking Heads
- Alone in the Dark
- Chris-R
- The Room
- The Matrix
- Sense8
- The Matrix: Reloaded
- The Matrix: Revolution
- Speed Racer
- Lord of the Rings
- David DeCoteau
- AI: Artificial Intelligence
- Marlon Brando
- Batman
- The Crow: Wicked Prayer
- Mortal Kombat
- Zardoz
- The Happening
- Sonic the Hedgehog
- Death Note
- Road Rash
- Masters of the Universe
- Halo
- The Fifth Element
- Star Wars
- Rocky
- Santana
- East/West Bowl
- Reb Brown
- Yor: The Hunter From The Future
- Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole
- Zoo Tycoon
- Barney the Bear
- Revenge of the Fallen
- Nutcracker in 3D
- Super Mario Bros.
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
- Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
- Lost
- Doctor Who
- Dragon Ball
- Dragonball Evolution
- Godzilla
- Men in Black
- Dark of the Moon
- The Simpsons
- Santana
- Kingdom Hearts
- Sting (wrestler)
- WCW
- The Wicker Man
- Darkstalkers
- Silent Hill: Revelations 3D
- Sean Penn
- Age of Extinction
- Batman and Robin
- South Park
- Signs
- M. Night Shyamalan
- The Sixth Sense
- Unbreakable
- Wing Commander
- Pokémon
- Terry Gilliam
- Brazil
- Milla Jovovich
- Kate Beckinsale
- New Moon
- Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny
- Married With Children
- The Phantom Menace
- Natalie Portman
- Soylent Green
- The Twilight Zone
- Austin Powers
- Where The Wild Things Are
- Kane (wrestler)
- Wayne's World
- The Graduate
- Thor: The Dark World
- The Blues Brothers
- Mick Jagger
- Primus
- Little Tortilla Boy
- Sigmund Freud
- Josef Breuer
- Captain Planet
- Propagandi
- San Diego Chargers
- Mike Myers
- Keith Richards
- Dana Carvey
- Street Fighter
- The Ultimate Warrior
- Adam Sandler
- Shaun of the Dead
- Showgirls
- Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever
- The Last Airbender
- I Know Who Killed Me
- Atop the Fourth Wall
- Forbidden Planet
- Batman Forever
- The Amazing World of Gumball
- Slipknot
- Santa's Slay
- Arkham Knight
- David Bowie
- Penn Jillette
- Yasunori Mitsuda
- Xenogears
- Chrono Trigger
- Extra Lives
- Arkham Asylum
- Alien
- Aliens
- Primer
- Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
- Guardians of the Galaxy
- Edge of Tomorrow
- James Gunn
- Uncle Ray
- Timothy Zahn
- James Earl Jones
- Axl Rose
- Orange is the New Black
- Katy Perry
- Dead or Alive Xtreme
- Star Wars: The Force Awakens
- Manos: The Hands of Fate
- Epic Rap Battles of History
- Highlander 2
Tiradesverse tropes[]
- Protagonists? - Jupiter and Caine
- SYMBOLISM!!! - Where to fucking start...
- Center of the Universe - Jupiter and it's almost more than figuratively true in this case!
- Finer Cronies and Goons, Inc. - The Shadowrun Rejects, the poor man's Greys, and the flying lizard men
- There Are No Police - The Aegis could arrest at least two of the Abrasax clan at any point for numerous felonies, but don't. Also, they allow two of Balem's henchmen to do whatever they want because they kidnapped half a dozen humans.
- Pointless heel turn - Stinger (although, he just decides to help the protagonists again, anyway)
- RPG Town - The space station where the bureaucracy montage takes place
- Bewildering Mercy - Jupiter refuses to kill the man who just tried to force her to marry him; and also the man who just tried to kill her, her family, and her planet and probably wouldn't hesitate to do it again
- No movie!!! - Caine isn't killed after being captured.
- Instant Love - Jupiter falls in love with Caine, despite knowing him for like five minutes and him (apparently) being more canine than human.
- Killing Your Own Guys - Balem kills his lizard general guy
Ending song[]
Movie Soundtracks - Spaceballs - Spaceballs Theme
Before and After[]
Previous Episode: Episode 51 - Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny
Next Episode: Episode 53 - Deadfall