Elves is a 1989 horror/suspense B-movie starring Dan Haggerty and Julie Austin.

Much like Troll 2, the title is wholly misleading, as, despite the title implying multiple elves, there is literally only one creature seen for the entirety of the film; and it looks more like the Green Goblin than an elf.

Actually, it probably ran concurrently to the plot of Troll 2.

Plot[edit | edit source]

A "teenager" learns she is the key part of a Nazi plot to birth an army of evil elf creatures, while Grizzly Adams gets a job as a mall Santa.

Notable characters[edit | edit source]

The Episode[edit | edit source]

  • This is the holiday episode for 2016.

Scores[edit | edit source]

James - Insanity 

Damien - Okay 

Highlights[edit | edit source]

  • Damien's description of the film before the recap
  • Damien praising Dan Haggerty
  • The first showings of when the film took a turn for crazytown
  • James' running list of "It took three screenwriters..."
  • What if it was Reb Brown as Santa in this movie?
  • The hosts reading off group names of birds

References[edit | edit source]

Tiradesverse tropes[edit | edit source]

  • Protagonist? - Kirsten
  • Nonsensical Title - There is only one creature seen the entire movie and it doesn't even remotely look like an elf
  • Anticlimactic Main Villain - The Nazi guys are useless and the evil elf is killed by a crystal
  • No One Will Like Your Character - Kristen is going to go to Art School, and she writes poetry!
  • Massive gunfight
  • No movie!!! - Nothing in this movie should have happened because the grandpa and his Nazi cohorts never knew Kirsten was going to go to the woods, let alone that she would accidentally cut her hand and bleed on the ground.
  • Box of kittens - Kirsten's psycho mom and the Nazis
  • Brick Wall Ending - The movie just ends after the elf is stabbed to death. How the fuck do Kirsten and Willy explain all this shit to the police?
  • Guy Banters - The three high school males seen for like 12 seconds
  • Unrealistic Real Estate - Kirsten seems to be the only person in their house who works, and she's a part-time waitress at a diner. Who the fuck is paying for this huge house?

Ending song[edit | edit source]

Olivia_Newton-John_-_Physical

Olivia Newton-John - Physical

Before and After[edit | edit source]

Previous Episode: Episode 62 - The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Next Episode: Episode 64 - After Earth

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