The Wicker Man is a 2006 remake of the 1973 film of the same name, starring Nicolas Cage.

It is notable for being comprised entirely of plot holes, but also for its legendarily hilarious final 23 minutes. Because of this, it can technically be referred to as a comedy/horror/drama/suspense/mystery film.


Nic Cage is lured to an island of irredeemably douchey females who sacrifice him to a giant pile of wood.

Oh, and bees. My god.

For Johnny Ramone.

Notable CharactersEdit

The EpisodeEdit

  • This episode was where the idea to start the Tranquil Tirades Wiki started, as Damien made an offhand comment about the hosts trying to keep track of all the substitute words and references they were spouting off. It also marks the first reference to the Tiradesverse.
  • A major Tiradesverse connection was made. Nick Cage is in a bear suit. There is a bear in Tekken. Tekken VS. Street Fighter is a video game coming out. In Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, Balrog uses the cancer punch on a woman. Nick Cage uses the cancer punch on a woman while wearing the bear suit.
  • It's sort of a miracle that this episode ever aired, as it was nearly lost forever due to computer issues. A combination of corrupted files, dropped Skype calls and wonky audio made this the most difficult and time consuming editing job Damien has ever done.


James - Goddammit!

Damien - Abarimon

Mike - Caged


  • "Damien, I hate you." - James
  • Aaron Eckhart shows up for five seconds
  • Bees are the currency of Summersisle
  • Nic Cage's Career
  • "Maybe all these movies happen in the same universe" - Damien
  • James and Damien explain to Mike what a phallic symbol is
  • Random naked chick covered in bees (with special guest appearance by Eddie Izzard)
  • "One does not simply bike into Mordor." (Or "One does not simply pedal into Mordor.")
  • Mike and Damien discuss emo band names.


  • Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li
  • Face/Off
  • Snake Eyes
  • 8 Millimeter
  • Leaving Las Vegas
  • The Ramones
  • Sexting
  • Lakeview Terrace
  • Death at a Funeral
  • In the Company of Men
  • James Franco
  • Jason Ritter
  • Aaron Eckhart
  • The Dark Knight
  • Thank You For Smoking
  • Battlefield Earth
  • Battle: Los Angeles
  • Drive Angry
  • The Family Man
  • Ray Charles
  • Night at the Roxburry
  • Jurgen Procknow
  • Clint Howard
  • Dead Like Me
  • The Room
  • Black Christmas
  • Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever
  • Kevin Bacon
  • Kathy Bates
  • Ghost Rider
  • Nic Cage's Agent
  • Jigsaw
  • The Lonely Island
  • WCW
  • The Children of the Corn
  • Liv Tyler
  • Alice in Wonderland
  • Castlevania
  • Saw V
  • Star Wars
  • The Wedding Singer
  • Robert Pattinson
  • Henry Rollins
  • Hayden Christiansen
  • Tom DeLonge
  • Bob Ross
  • Francis DeLamue
  • Danny Devito
  • Jim Carrey
  • Bob Piscapo
  • Andrew Dice Clay
  • Robert DuVaul
  • Robert Redford
  • Michael Douglas
  • Denzel Washington
  • Lawrence Fischburne
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger
  • The Olsen Twins
  • Keanu Reeves
  • Heath Ledger
  • Whoopi Goldburg
  • Oprah
  • Eddie Izzard
  • Lord of the Ring
  • ET
  • Jay and Silent Bob
  • Your Cardboard Heart
  • Blood On The Dancefloor
  • Hatebeak
  • The Matrix
  • Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
  • Eddie Gurrero
  • Cathy Bates
  • Titanic
  • Iceburg
  • Tekken
  • Tekken vs Street Fighter
  • Nightmare on Elm Street
  • Pokemon
  • Bowling for Soup
  • Silent Hill (movie)
  • Silent Hill: Revelation
  • Bloodrayne 3
  • Bluberella
  • The Ladder
  • Saved by the Bell
  • Sex and the City

Tiradesverse tropesEdit

  • Protagonist? - Edward
  • Ben Kingsley Paycheck - Frances Conroy
  • Center of the Universe - Edward
  • There Are No Police - This island is part of Washington state, but apparently no police ever go there (except Ed, but he's not a cop anyway--he's a highway patrolman)
  • Plot convenience
    • The absurd reason given for Ed being led to the island in the first place
    • Edward's gun is discovered to be emptied at the end of the movie, but there was no point where it could have been emptied by any of the women
    • Edward walks right into a beehive in a field for no reason, setting up his first encounter with Sister Summersisle
    • Further to that point, Edward was somehow rescued from that field, even though absolutely no one was around when he hit the beehive.  Logic would dictate someone allergic to bee stings would likely die instantaneously from hundreds of stings.
  • Pointless heel turn - Sister Willow
  • H.U.R.T. - Nic Cage gets stung by hundreds of bees and wakes up perfectly fine the next morning, despite being allergic.
  • Needlessly crypticAn odd example in that it was all of the antagonists being cryptic towards the main character; but in the context of their plan, they shouldn't have been cryptic because it only aroused more suspicion.

Ending SongEdit

Billy Joel - We Didn't Start The Fire

Billy Joel - We Didn't Start The Fire

Before and AfterEdit

Previous Episode - Episode 8 - House of the Dead

Next Episode - Episode 10 - Showgirls